The Unnamed: Part 1

I have been doing an exercise. It had no purpose other than to inform the viability of a theme for my 30^th birthday party next year, but it did reveal something quite interesting.

I decided that I was quite fond of the idea of iconic ad characters as a new twist on the age-old dress up theme. It echoes what I spend my days doing and I believed it would present a multitude of possibilities for me and everyone invited.

I was wrong and sorely disappointed. But, why?

I was quite liberal in my approach. I decided that the character could be from any ad anyone remembered, provided that it was from within my TV-watching lifetime and wasn’t somebody famous*. From childhood, that gives us folk like The Oros Man, Rascals, The Nik Naks Man, Simba, The Frosties Tiger and Colonel Sanders with his feathered and fury friends.

Moving on in time, we brainstormed Mr Min, Joshua Door, The Michelin Man, The Camel Man, The Baker’s Man, David Kramer, the Morkels two-year-guarnatee-store chick, Ouma of rusks’ fame and Mrs Balls, the maker of the original Saffa chutney.

Into my teens and adulthood, we get the Vodacom Yebo Gogo duo, Boet en Swaar, Ronald Mc Donald, Captain Morgan, Johnny Walker, Mr Muscle, The Man your man could smell like, Kulula’s Jet-setting Pool Man, The Cadbury Gorilla etc. etc… Oh, and the Brand Power woman.

This posed a slight dilemma. Besides the challenge of a white chick convincingly dressing as the Brand Power babe, my options as a female are limited to Mrs Balls, Ouma and ‘Mrs Morkel’. Unless I got horribly drunk and repeated the Morkels’ slogan, that woman would not be easily recognized. Likewise, if one really interrogates the situation, I somehow doubt that unless a girl bears a striking resemblance to The Brand Power babe, Ouma and Mrs Balls, they could be easily confused with the number of other nameless woman who have appeared in detergent, soap and food ads over the years.

I’m stuffed. As is half my guest list. I find this situation rather curious. Here are my (slightly bitter) observations:

The last two iconic females, other than the recent Ms Brand Power, are Mrs Balls and Ouma. They may have been relegated to the kitchen, but alas, at least they had names, some associations (aprons) and gave a mildly persuasive sense that they had unique personalities.

Ms Brand Power is at least a character. She empowers woman to shop better. But that’s all we know and it’s not like she has a defining dress sense or outstanding characteristics.

Outside of the above three half-heartedly iconic ladies and even considering famous actresses and models* with good bodies, skin and teeth, women in ads tend to be represented by roles, benefits and through stereotypes and not as unique characters with much personality whatsoever. I shall rework my invitation to read:

Boys: iconic ad characters

Girls: stereotypes, emotions, benefits, roles

So ladies, (moms, daughters, friends, girlfriends, wives, working professionals and celebrities) here are your choices:

• Happy mom (cooking)
• Happy mom (cleaning)
• Happy mom (germ killing)
• Happy mom (supporting man)
• Happy mom (soothing sick kids)

• Happy young woman (glowing skin)
• Happy young woman (pearly white teeth)
• Happy young woman (good body)
• Happy young woman (healthy/regular [exciting one, this])

• Happy woman in white (obviously I’d only recommend this if you’re on your period)

• Teenager (inconspicuous supporting character- best for those who don’t like dress-ups anyway)

• Working professional (with this one, you can mix and match with any of the above. It adds depth and authenticity to your character)

One can’t help but wonder why the ladies aren’t privileged enough to be graced with a character more definitive and exciting than a role or stereotype…We also thrive/thrived on and are/were intrigued by fantasy, so I do wonder whether we’d be a little more entertained by and a little more remembering of someone other than an unnamed woman that is a copy/past of a section of a brand blueprint or guideline.

*Celebrities do not count.

1) They are meant to be like us, just prettier and more successful (obviously). Their role in ads is not to excite and charm us with their one-of-a-kind personality or character, but rather to use their ability to not be themselves and conform to a role (celebrity) as a means to convince us of a product benefit.

2) It’s not like long lashes, fancy dresses and varnish-shiny hair will convince anyone at my party anyway… whoever attempted this would still just be another celebrity unless they had a LOT of cash for a make-over or had a strategically placed mole.